And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
