I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
Sponge bath it is.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.