i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.