FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.