Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.