just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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