Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

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(917): I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time! http://tfl.nu/fe3b

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(310): View more from California

she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.

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(310): she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category. http://tfl.nu/bs6u

Replies (55) Good night (780) Bad night (11468)
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(407): View more from Florida

my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much

(1-407): View more from Florida

It'll hurt less than being alone

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(407): my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much (1-407): It'll hurt less than being alone http://tfl.nu/6ydx

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

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(484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3

Replies (55) Good night (7198) Bad night (903)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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(551): And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries... http://tfl.nu/h7d9

Replies (18) Good night (2980) Bad night (709)
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(720): View more from Colorado

He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".

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(720): He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost". http://tfl.nu/8ltm

Replies (39) Good night (8085) Bad night (690)
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(718): View more from New York

I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

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(718): I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!" http://tfl.nu/wp1u

Replies (29) Good night (8250) Bad night (1087)
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(440): View more from Ohio

well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.

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(440): well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xftj

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...

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(414): i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall... http://tfl.nu/m552

Replies (3) Good night (3262) Bad night (859)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.

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(575): you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/lmrm

Replies (10) Good night (2966) Bad night (896)
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(516): View more from New York

I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much

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(516): I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much http://tfl.nu/71lk

Replies (1) Good night (1183) Bad night (568)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better

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(519): I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better http://tfl.nu/3fte

Replies (12) Good night (1207) Bad night (487)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!

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(502): Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors! http://tfl.nu/muzx

Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (472)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.

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(405): Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center. http://tfl.nu/aec1

Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (239)
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(216): View more from Ohio

then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value

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(216): then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value http://tfl.nu/klpa

Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (248)

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