Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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