matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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