Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
