Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
