She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
