I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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