Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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