no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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