Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
