Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
