I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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