I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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