? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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