I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
