She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
