Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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