ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
