This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
