bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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