fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
