Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
