She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize