Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
