MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
