chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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