but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
