Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
