I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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