i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
