So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
