Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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