worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
