I CAN MOONWALK!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
