I wanna passion pit in your ass
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
