he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
