I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
vagina is talking i cant
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
