And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That's how pantless uber rides happen
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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