I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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