its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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