The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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