Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize