I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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