margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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