i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
