Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
