He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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