Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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