Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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