I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it hurts more in the daytime
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
