first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
