I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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