is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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