Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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