sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
