Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize