you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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