How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Fuck appropriateness.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
