I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
